Somewhere inbetween

I am on a quest for inspiration. Being summer and perfect weather in Seattle (FINALLY!), I have been absorbing as much vitamin D as possible. I decided to drag J out to the Arboretum to soak up the sunshine and catch up on a bit of reading. I hear we Seattleites are severely lacking in this vitamin. I am hoping this will open my eyes to something new.

As much as I have enjoyed writing this blog, I have found myself at a loss of where to go next. Like my current state, I feel that my little venture lacks direction. I want more of a purpose than to "unburden" myself and use random writings as a creative outlet.

Saturday I participated in my first blog brunch in hopes of learning more about blogging and to find a little bit of inspiration through others' experiences. I felt such a sense of community watching my twitter feed explode with more and more insight. Here I was Saturday morning ready for the brunch to begin, equipped with my iced americano and my moleskin to take notes. Since blog brunch, I have been focusing on how to make my content meaningful to me, as well as to a potential viewer.


Topics to discuss (maybe):

-Fashion: I am obsessed, but like the average American, am a bit too self-conscious to photograph myself or ask someone to do it for me

-Cooking experiments: Over the couple of years I have struggled with weight gain, falling out of vegetarianism (& wanting to jump back aboard), becoming budget conscious (food is expensive, you know) and ultimately becoming more and more domestic... alas, my range/oven are so non-functional that it constantly sets off the fire alarm. No joke, after 5 minutes of being on, my oven will set off the fire alarm regardless if there is food in it or not. I am hoping I can finally experiment once we are all moved into the new place.

Did I mention we got the apartment?! I am so ridiculously excited to move out of the basement and into the sunlight once more. But most importantly, I am excited (& scared to no end since I have commitment-phobic tendencies) to build a home and a future with J.

I digress...

-Preschool: unlike any other job I have had, teaching preschool has given me some pretty amusing
(& relatable) stories to work with. You either love children, and sympathize with the joys and struggles of working with children, or you would rather have your teeth drilled than spend 40 hours a week nurturing young minds. Regardless of your position, most people find the mishaps relatable or hilarious. The only catch is that it is difficult, if not borderline inappropriate, to be taking pictures. And bloggers do love their pictures. Le sigh.

Aside from my existential woes of being in my early 20's and wanting to find my focus, I have enjoyed this gorgeous summer in Seattle thus far. I am celebrating the 70+ degree weather with copious amounts of ice cream/froyo... (is 3 out of 4 days too much?)

 And destroying delicious Korean food...

And of course, packing, packing, packing. Though J and I have 9 days till we can begin moving, I want to be READY. Last night I stayed up to pack up all my dvds and books. I now have around 6 boxes blocking my front door. Can you tell I am excited?




xoxo, Chris

Love the one you're in!

HAPPY MONDAY EVERYONE!

Today I was struck by an overwhelming feeling of stagnancy (perhaps it is the Monday blues). It occurred to me today that we are in the first week of June... which means we are half way through 2012! Like the vast majority of New Year's well-wishers, I made the resolution to drop some weight. About 30 pounds to be exact. No small feat, especially for this self proclaimed food addict.

Similar to many new post-graduates out there, life after college did a real number on my bank account and emotional sanity. For about a year and a half after graduating in June 2010, my life revolved around counting every penny, cupboards full of top ramen and ultimately that moment of weakness when you dip into your savings to indulge yourself in a night out or some must-have article of clothing.  By April 2011, I found my entire savings account depleted. No surprise, right? Well the stress of living so frugally and consisting off of cheap processed foods took on a toll on my body. Around 30 pounds to be exact.

By New Year's 2012, I was in a (slightly) better financial place and mentally sane enough to attack my extra baggage. My first and second months of working out and eating healthy were moderately successful. Spring of 2010, I was living off of a vegan diet and had, prior to that and through half of 2011, been a vegetarian- my body was loving the whole fresh fruits and veggies it had been missing and felt at ease letting go of most animal products (damn you, sushi and cheese!). I was able to drop about 14 pounds in that time. However, I am not someone who enjoys counting calories, logging workouts or meals. By the end of February, I had convinced myself that I needed a (short) mental break since I was beginning to feel manic about counting and logging all of those calories. Well that short break turned into a two month hiatus...

So here I am now 6 months later, feeling so far off of the bandwagon.

The reason I wanted to approach this topic today is because lately I have been feeling pretty blue about having lost sight of my goal. Ultimately it comes down to my need for discipline, but that is a whole 'nother beast to tackle! My struggle with weight loss, that so many women face too, is finding that sensitive balance between feeling good about yourself while being healthy, and feeling free (or unafraid) to eat. I find that my relationship with food becomes unhealthy during a time that I am actively trying to lose weight. It becomes a vicious cycle of abstaining and emotionally binging. Earlier today I happened upon an image I wanted to share with everyone:

photo found here 

This image reminded me of something I had been forgetting: to love my body for all its quirks and everything that it allows me to do. We are all glorious and beautiful in our different shapes and sizes. For those of us still trying to hold on to our hope of making a change- Don't give up!! I hope this image inspires you as much as it does me.

Again, happy Monday and xoxo!