Still searching...

We are two weeks into the New Year and it's no surprise that I am writing you while amidst another cleanse. Shocked? You shouldn't be. Oh, and I am also writing you from Seattle Bouldering Project.

I must confess, the end of the year revealed many challenges to me (relocating a loved pet, general body frustrations)... This is the first time I am really struggling with commitment. Committing to fitness. Committing to a healthy and conscious diet. Committing to myself.

I have just completed my first day on a 3-Day Detox suggested by the documentary and website Hungry For Change. So far I feel more energetic than I have on other detoxes. This one is filled with nutrient dense raw fruits and veggies. And you get to eat these fruits and veggies... Not just drink them!

Twice today I felt a faint/dull headache. Slightly lethargic. All-in-all, this cleanse is doable. The prep is not as extensive as other programs that I have seen. The most tedious food to prep is pressing finely grated ginger. The food- a tasty Japanese inspired salad and bountiful veggie soup, is tasty.

I am hoping this short (doable) cleanse will help reset my body and get my cravings back under control. After all, this journey is rooted in a quest and rediscovery of control over my life and my body. I hope, this time, I will be successful.

New Year, Clean Slate

Every New Year's day, like clockwork,  I would meticulously craft a long list of "do-overs" and resolutions. Essentially, empty promises I would make to myself in hopes to change my ways. And I usually did for a while until, as most resolutions tend to do, my fervor and excitement faded away. In its place came anguish and suffering. It all sounds melodramatic. Well, that was how I truly felt in the moment... dreaming of that burger or deliciously cheesy dish that left me too guilty to log into My Fitness Pal. Eventually I would cave and fall into a spiral of several copious delicious fatty indulgences. I have friends that have joked about how my love of cheese trumps my love of men... Sorry, J.

My point in all of this is to resist the allure of the New Year. Though it does provide a clean slate of sorts, it does not wipe away the past. And this year, I vow to never forget that. Like everyone else, I still have my baggage. All glorious 165.6 pounds of it. Despite my conviction to make change, I must focus on taking it one step at a time, one day at a time. Patience will be my friend here. Patience, is the road to success. In honor of NOT making a long, overwhelming and unrealistic resolution list (ie: dropping 20 pounds by such and such month) I am focusing on small, life habits.

Here is my list:

1) I will remind myself that I AM beautiful no matter my weight by attempting to wake up early enough to put on makeup

2) I will create a routine and time-saving, ultimately healthy, habits. Such as going to bed at a consistent time, packing my lunch the night before or planning ahead for work/workouts.

3) I will move more. I am making 2013 the year that I find the physical activity that brings me pleasure, that brings me inner calm, that makes me feel empowered.


So, here is to making 2013 the year of small, progressive changes! Let us remember only the good things and be in love and happiness with those we care about. Happy New Year and may 2013 be filled with peace and good health.